BEING A GOOD LOVER
A good lover gets it all together. A good lover is not a person but an experience. An intimidated sex partner may not excite, may be exciting at the beginning but disappoints in the finale, and may produce an orgasm that falls short of relieving.
WHAT MAKES A GOOD LOVER
A good lover gets it all together. He is a person that cares about the interpersonal relationship, is secure in his sexuality, and learns the techniques of sex without being caught up in the need to perform. He cares about the relationship so it can continue, be developed, and nurtured.
He tries to concern himself with the needs of his partner. Technique increases the possibility for high excitement and gratification by providing more options for fantasy to develop. Fantasies begin in childhood and there are many changing requirements.
The excitement of clandestine sex has its roots in childhood that sex is naught, stolen, and must be hidden. Its easier to invest with grand expectations and fantasy with a new or anonymous lover. As reality sets in the excitement is replaced with disappointment and lack of interest. A good lover is a partner willing to allow the fantasy gratification and has the ability to excite and satisfy.
New experiences rely heavily on fantasies. Continuous relationships bloc the fantasy and requires trust, honesty, and good will necessary for sharing fantasies, knowing what excites and what inhibits.
A woman who can’t tell her lover she has not reached orgasm is cheating herself and her partner. Things can’t then get better. A man who does not like his partner on top by be depriving himself and his partner.
A good lover must be free of guilt about sex and be able to give and receive maximum physical and mental pleasure in lovemaking. Making love must be in an uninhibited, leisurely, non-exploitive sharing of sensations and feeling. Both are free from shoulds and shoudn’ts.
A good lover says, "I care for your well-being" and lets her trust open up to him completely. He knows how to praise. He has taken the trouble to learn all he can about sex stimulation and response.
To sense his woman’s feelings requires that he is in touch with his own feelings. He senses the needs of his partner and tries to give her those actions that will please and excite her. He stays with her until she is satisfied.
He must insist on doing whatever it takes to bring her full satisfaction. He should also show her what he enjoys, and should show delight when she responds to his requests. A good lover is imaginative.
He doesn’t make love in the same old way in the same old place with a set routing that is predictable and clocked. Above all he stays with her until she is fully at rest. He holds her closely in his arms when sex is over.